I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
