ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
