You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
