Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
