I accidentally had phone sex last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
