i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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