i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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