If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
