you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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