How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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