pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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