I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
