but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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