dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
