Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
