Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
