Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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