508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
