your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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