how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
