Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night

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(612): View more from Minnesota

We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

thanks for singing to me while i puked last night

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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic

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(731): View more from Tennessee

What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?

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(360): View more from Washington

Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking

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