i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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