dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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