i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
