I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
