I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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