Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
