this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have already put on my inside pants.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
