I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
