I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
