We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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