you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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