You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
