Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They have beer where we have blood.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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