I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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