I like to think it a success when the cops are called
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
