I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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