Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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