someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
