Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
