hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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