she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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