Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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