She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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