You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Found the puke drawer
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
