I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
