He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
