Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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