Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
