Screwed.edu
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
